This guy has been my friend since 3 years ago.
This guy has had many relationships, they haven’t worked out and noe he’s single.
This guy considers me like a sister, he teases me we laugh together we tell jokes about each other.
People keep on asking us if we’re dating and together we will say no.
I help him get his girl, and to help get over her when she breaks up with him.
I didn’t know I had feelings.
I didn’t realize that every time I looked at him, I didn’t wanna look away.
He passed me a note during class once.
It read, “CIRCLE ONE. WILL YOU BE MY GF. YES OR NO” I Stares at it.
Butterfly’s came, headaches, I felt dizzy and happy and confused.
I circled yes and handed it back to him.
He read it, looked at me and smiled.
His smiles are rare, if you tell a joke, he will half smile, if you try to tickle him, another smirk.
It went for almost a month, then I saw him laughing with another girl. Laughing.
Butterfly’s, headaches, I felt dizzy, and confused…
My first boyfriend…. the one I like…. could he be cheating on me?
I see them later, teasing each other, like we used to do.
Sure we hold hands after school walking home but in school, nothing. Maybe a hug or two.
I confront him about it and… “you don’t trust me?” I trust him. With my life. “Maybe I feel that way about her but I was fighting between her and you” I knew it. I didn’t want to. But inside I did. I knew what was coming next. “Maybe this wouldn’t work…sorry” he walked away.
I gave him a day to cool off, he looked mad. I understood. Everything.
She’s pretty, more than me.
She smiles, more than me.
She starts things like holding hands, more than I ever did.
Sure I knew him better but when a guy is looking at two girls, who is he gonna pick, a best friend or the prettiest one in school?
I talked to him the next day, hands sweating, dizzy, butterflies, headaches, confused… wait… butterfly’s… I still liked him……
I told him “I’m sorry can we please just be friends again” he smiled at me and said “duh”
So its about 4 months later, I look at him, and butterfly’s and more butterfly’s and happy ness and everything that feels good. But then deep deep down, sad and confused and…hope.
Hope that he will break up with his girl and he will realize that I’m for him.
Of coarse I’m happy for him, how could I not be. He’s very happy in that relationship. He smiles and laughs and plays and…*sighs*
I think… I don’t want to… I don’t want to feel this way, I don’t want to hurt because he tells me things like the time these girls went over to ask if he was single or this time that his girlfriend was drunk and tried to start stuff.
I acted happy. Smiles and laughs. But empty. I think he could tell at first but now, it sounds exactly the same.
I lose sleep at night because I’m thinking if i could go back in time and NOT do that, would we still be together?
Sure were better friends, we closer and foe that one period of time when people Asked if we were dating, we would say, together “duh”